DO I GET ANOTHER DOG?

So Murphy is gone and my heart is so heavy. I miss her little face, her silky ears, her long body, her chewed on tail. I miss snuggling with her and watching tv. She was a great snuggle bunny. I've never been without a dog before. I've had one my whole life. I believe they're tiny flecks of joy that God has tossed down to us from heaven to enjoy. But I don't have one! And Eric doesn't want me to get one. You see, I'm not right when it comes to my dog. I don't look at them and see a dog. Somehow, when I see their face, my brain translates the image into "baby." And it's all over with. I'm stuck. I won't leave them and I spend a bunch of time making sure they are happy and well. I worry. I mean - a lot! I can't help it or stop it. When Murphy got older it really kicked in. I became consumed with her health and worried I'd lose her at any minute. This went on for a very long time. She lived to be almost 15. Mmmmhmmmm...I was pretty wrapped up in the Long Brown Joy (Grant's name he gave her when he was 7). So Eric says we travel a lot and that's not going to stop. I won't be home to care for her and I get consumed and, although I look pretty normal when I actually do leave the house, that I'm crippled emotionally by them. The bottom line - he's right. I ain't right in the head when I have one - for real and we do travel a lot. We have been home two weeks out of the last five. I can take her with me to Oklahoma but I can't take her over seas. Maybe I should babysit. Do you guys need babysitters? I'm excellent! Maybe I need to start babysitting again for people when they go out of town! I don't think a "power play" will work this time with Eric. I've asked him if I could have one of following animals and he sweetly says no. Here's what I've asked him for: A new puppy! I love their soft tummies and baby breath! Yes! He was completely unmoved by this. How could that be!! Look at her!
How about a kitty? He said I could go hold September's kitty - she's four doors down. And there's Miriam in Oklahoma that I sleep with. No kitties!
A hamster? They are really cute! Grant and I had a hamster when he was little. Her name was Odie. "Remember when we had to take her to the vet and she got sick and pulled her hair out?" Eric reminded us. "And remember the funeral?" This was a no too. No hamsters he said.
What about a duck? I once had a duck that thought she was a turkey because she hatched with them. Her name was Quackers. She lived on my Aunt's farm. Eric said no to this too with no explanation.
Rabbits! Now that's an idea! Eric said, "Nope. Aimee has two. You can go hold them any time you like and as much as you want. No rabbits."
Now I've always wanted a Pygmy African goat! Now that's a great idea! And our backyard is full of weeds and tiny trees and stuff. She could eat it down! "Not that either," he said, "it would end up in the house if it even sprinkled." (He's right too... teeeheeheee."
Maybe, just maybe I could have a gold fish! They're low maintenance. I can't hold them and get too attached (or can I?). They're easy to care for and my dad could drop in a flake each day while I'm gone. Maybe that's it! We've had them before! I didn't think he would mind. I told him about it last night in bed before he went to sleep. He reminded me of my goldfish that I had when we got married. They were old by then, I'd had them through college. And then one day Jack's air bladder stopped working (the other fish's name was Cracker) and she spent her days upside down. This was distressing for me. And she had trouble eating upside down too. I would turn her right side up and actually feed her. She was fine! How hard was that just to turn her over and feed her. Not very! This went on for a long time... and well... he ended up having to feed her this way too, and my mom as well 'cause we traveled a lot, and my dad, and well my old goldfish was pretty high maintenance. In the end, Eric said no to my fish idea. But not completely. He told me I could have as many of these as I wanted: So there you go. I'm going to put them in a fish bowl on my table. Don't forget that babysittin' thing everybody!